Saturday, November 29, 2008

Jeremimi gets link on Perez Hilton

I was introduced to Jeremimi a long time ago and now today he finally got his due: a link on Perez.

New Christian Siriano book featuring my photography?

McQueen!!!! (who is he?)
The photo they want for the book

Today I was contacted by Brad Walsh asking me if he could use my photo of the Alexander McQueen shop in New York City I have in my Flickr account.

Brad Walsh is a musician who Perez Hilton said is " of (his) favorite electro rockers. This unsigned artist is totally tearing up the music scene in New York."

Walsh wants my photo to use in a new book by Christian Siriano. Wow! I am guessing he was searching "Alexander McQueen" and came across my photo on Flickr. Something funny: notice the title of the photo. Walsh mentions it in his email below:

I'm working on getting some images for Christian Siriano's upcoming book, and inside there's a section on Alexander McQueen. He wants to include a photo of the store, and you have a great one on your Flickr account. Our deadline is two days from now, so we're in a rush; would you be willing to let us use your photo in his book? It's the one titled "McQueen!!!! who is he?" Please email me at ************** if so! You'd really be helping us out! You'd get a photo credit, of course.


Happy Vegasgiving

When in Vegas, do as the Vegans. So when I was there for Thanksgiving 2008, I ate at a buffet: The Monte Carlo Hotel and Casino buffet. They had the cheapest one in our neck of the strip, so that's where I plunked my money down and publicly binged.

Plate #1: turkey slice, 3 gnocchi, couscous spoon-dump, tuna steak, broccholini, two yam cubes

Plate #2: green beans, melon, mushrooms, again with the tuna steak, tilapia, stuffing, breaded shrimp, yellow raisins, asparagus, red pepper, 1/8th of a steak

Pumpkin cheesecake and coffee for desert

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Greeley Colorado to Richfield Utah

Wednesday, November 26, 2008: Today's FOURTEEN hour bus ride from Greeley Colorado to Richfield, Utah began at 5:30am and ended at 7:30pm. Below are some highlights. Here are all the photos and video clips from the day.

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Here's our entire trip: 656 miles, 14 hours (with 1-hour lunch break)

5:30am- The day begins in Greeley, Colorado

Pit Stop in Wyoming

Looking through the bus windows

Looking through the bus windows

Lunch break

Window watching

Window Watching

Pit Stop

Window watching


At 7:30pm, I was in no mood to film. So, just pretend there's a video here of me dragging my cranky ass into the hotel in pitch black darkness.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Photo: Me in mirror in dressing room

I took this photo in my dressing room before the show in Greeley Colorado.

Terry Schaivo is alive

Terry Schaivo is alive
Riding from Colorado Springs, Colorado to Greeley, Colorado Tuesday November 25, 2008.

Photos: Colorado Springs- 11-24-08

Photos: Garden of the Gods

Monday, November 24, 2008

Garden of AIDS Toast

Colorado Springs, Colorado: After an 8-hour bus ride (Good God) I arrived in Colorado Springs, Colorado Saturday night (11-23-08). I walked alone downtown to stretch my legs and get some air, but due to the cold, I made it a quick one.

Sunday I woke up too early and missed the free hotel "breakfast." From what I heard, I didn't miss much. I got an invite to Pike's Peak for later in the afternoon. I said yes even though the trolley ride down the mountain cost $30.

I again walked downtown for a couple of hours online, this time with my lapotp, and sat at the Homeless Starbucks, which is in a very homeless part of Colorado Springs. Good Lord there are homeless folk everywhere. I can say this without judgment because I have raised money for them in the past. Not these exact ones, but their brethren in Orlando.
Here are the run-ins I had with them:

-Homeless man came into the Starbucks and asked employee for a free glass of water. When she refused, he walked to the exit, turned around and announced to her and everyone else within ear shot that she would, indeed, go to hell for not giving him a free water.

-Homeless man sat two tables away with another man and told him about (a) his dislike of his dependence on medications and (b) his new wire-fram eyeglasses.

-Walking to 'bucks on a narrow sidewalk, I paused before moving to the right side of sidewalk. If I hadn't I would have been hit by a homeless man on a bike. No joke. That front wheel would have rolled right up my cooch, the man with dreads and a green army coat would have been thrown forward on top of me and I would have screamed like a parrot.

-In a 7-11, a homeless man made stupid conversation with the employee to avoid going back outside. Example: "Is it always this busy in here?" There was no one in the 7-11 but me, the homeless man and the employee.
The invite changed to "Garden of the Gods" instead of "Pike's Peak" via a brief phone call. The benefit to "Gods" over "Pike's" was Gods was free while Pike's was $30. I said I'd do either, cuz more folks were involved. We ended up going to Gods.
I should mention Pike's Peak ended up being a 1.5 hour ride up the mountain and then the same ride back down. You are 14,000 feet in the air, and what you are promised is (a) a view of 4 states and (b) altitude sickness. Garden of the Gods is a smallish park in between some mountains. The park has large red Mars-like rocks jutting out of the earth. They're striking. Photos online in a year.
On the taxi ride, I made a leap of comedy faith with my fellow taxi rider by telling him "AIDS is funny until you get it." I went further to defend my point, saying that all AIDS jokes are funny. I think I thought I was in a movie. And I wonder why sometimes I don't make friends.

At least I'm not homeless.

Over $1,000 I raised for them.

Garden of the Gods is lovely. It was a nice walk in decent weather, but about an hour in, it got cold. I said I couldn't feel my fingers but that wasn't true. I could feel them and they felt frozen.

I was leery of the cab driver who asked which way we wanted to go back to the hotel AND who's meter I could not see from my back seat. But, he ended up being honest.

Once back at the hotel, I had a quiet dinner at Dennys with someone from the Gods trip. The toast was white, but with the butter, it was yellow. I asked for new toast. I couldn't believe how much butter the cook used. It was insane. I wanted to flip over the table, stand on top of the heap of broken dishes and shout Iranian curse words into a megaphone, but I smiled and ate my new dry toast, on which I slathered copious dollops of WHAT? Butter.

I walked back to my hotel room and dilly-dallied online, which is what rich people do. I am not rich. Why am I not spending every second of my life trying to make or get money? Question BTW. If I was a pimp, would you work for me as a prostitute? If yes, please leave a comment with your whore-name and shoe size. I might start a 'tute business, with half the proceeds going to the homeless. The Orlando homeless.

On Facebook I got a second invite to go to Dennys. 3 hours had passed since my yellow toast so I said yes. It was another quiet meal, pleasant. I ordered "Moons Over My Hammy." I won't beat around your bush: this is what fat people eat. It's a form of self-hate.

And here's where the drama begins.

I get the plate of obese, and send back the hash browns. You ever peed on a loaf of rye bread, then baked it for 10 minutes at 250 degrees? I sent them back and asked for toast, but this time with butter on the side. I learned.

Usually when you send a side dish back, they leave the plate with the side dish and the main course (of hate) on the table. No, Lula Belle Clodong took the whole plate with her. Some of these Dennys waitresses are not sane.

She returned with the "My-Hammy" on a new, smaller plate. The bread on the "My-Hammy" was yellow. I'd already sent back the hash browns. My manorexic gutt gurgled. I ate the first half and the hash browns arrived on a second small plate

I could not eat the second half of the "My Hammy," so I left it on the first small plate. The manager scooped up my plates. When she asked if she could take my plates, I said "Yes" like I'd just seen a turkey beheaded alive behind a talking Sarah Palin on tv. The manager did not respond.


.. a few minutes later the cook comes to our table and offers to make me a whole new meal. I was already done. I said yes. Half a damn hour later he comes out with this ridiculously-large to-go plastic pie carrier with the pathetic sammich and the probably-nasty hash browns inside. I am bowled over by their graciousness.

Then my friend sees the cook pay the waitress.

I pull the waitress aside and she confirms that he did pay her. The cook lingers within ear shot, so I am unable to question her about his motives. My friend bolts to the cook with a tip, I am confused and we both leave absolutely baffled at what just transpired.

Now sitting here in pitch black on a toilet at 3am, I know what he did. He paid her in front of us so we would feel guilty and give him a tip, which my friend did. Then, when we left, she gave him the money back and he walks away with extra cash. A lot of work but I bet it was for his entertainment as much as his wallet. I'm sure it gets boring cooking in the homeless Dennys.

And he probably has AIDS.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

What next?

Beth M wrote recently wrote about how she now loves Facebook and is logging onto Myspace less because of it. I only log onto myspace to blog. How do I transition out of blogging on myspace since Facebook doesn't offer blogging?

The only solution I can think of is posting here and helping my friends transition off of myspace and onto RSS and platforms like Wordpress.

I knew this day would come. And here it is. :(

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Raton, New Mexico

On November 22, 2008, I rode the bus eight hours from Ruidoso, New Mexico to Colorado Springs, Colorado. The lunch break was one hour and happened in a small town called Raton, New Mexico.

Raton, New Mexico (24 more photos of Raton)

Why? (More Signs)

Nice sign (More Signs)

Isn't this a great sign?
Great old sign (More Signs)

Needful Things By Us (More Signs)

Motel (More Signs)

Cat on Roomba

Friday, November 21, 2008

I received a gift

Schlotsky's and Starbucks

I'd never been to Schlotsky's Deli before. Heard of it, never been. This morning it was the only thing near my hotel resembling food. As I stood staring, trying to understand the jumbled, colorful, huge menu on the wall (which never shows you what the food actually looks like), this obese, pock-marked white woman with raggy hair and squinty eyes spoke to someone on the phone about her financial status. She worked there. She has been driving her car with the gas light on for 2 days among other things. She was sitting in a booth right by the register. There was only one other customer in the place besides me. She hung up her cell, came around the back of the counter and, while I was standing there about to order, told her co-worker that her boyfriend/husband/male friend she has a financial relationship with, that he wanted her to take what remained of that day's paycheck and buy groceries even though she gave him cash for a portion of her car payment already, among other things.

Made me sad.

I walk a block to a Starbucks, and this robot-girl pummels the customer in front of me with fakeness so weird it merited a quizzical Mark Baratelli look of wonderment. I imagine it looks cute, like a puppy turning it's head to the side when he hears an unusual noise. But I've been told it looks like complete bafflement, and not in a charming way.

The customer in front of me leaves and then it's just me and her left to handle her robot-ness. I make my order and she offers me Thanksgiving blend, asks if I want a shot of Pumpkin Spice (I didn't ask if it was a free offer. I just assumed it was not free and said no.), asks for my name so she can write it on the cup even though I am the only customer in the store, corrects my "Grande Misto" order as "Grande Coffee Misto", asks me if I want a receipt, tells me the machine is printing the receipt, and tells me my order will be ready soon.

Mad me mad.

I sat down with my Grande Coffee Misto and wrote this entry. I am grateful I have a job that pays my bills. I am grateful I don't have to deal with douchey customers like me.

Friday, November 14, 2008

How Do You Feel?

I was reminded today that I own the domain Yes, I forgot. I started a podcast by the same name in 2006 and turned it into a live solo show in 2008 with the help of Chris Dinger. Subscribe: itunes, rss. And, here is the show's old myspace profile.