Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Cookie Asshole

Note: Mark (me) is now in Tucson, Arizona, and wil be here December 30 thru January 4.

How to be Angry Like Jesus First United Methodist Church, Shreveport, Louisiana

I walk into a neat looking local coffee shop. I just wanted to see what it looked like, and then I thought about getting something to eat. I looked at the bakery case and didn't see cookies, which is what I wanted. So I asked the employee behind the bakery case. We'll call him "Asshole."
Me: Do you have cookies?

Asshole: (waves hands over bakery case then speaks) We have Snickerdoodles.

Me: Ok, thanks (turns to leave)

Asshole: (indignant) You walking around looking for cookies?

Me: (dumbfounded at question) Um, no I am just taking a walk. (leaves shop)
WTF? Who "walks around looking for cookies"? Was I 400 pounds riding a hover-round with chocolate cake crumbs on my bedazzled pink t-shirt? I will return to this coffee shop and ask for cookies every day this week.


Anonymous said...

For further reference, Snickerdoodles are the best cookies in the world.

You love this stuff, don't you?

Go back and get those snickerdoodles, about 6 of them, and have your coffee and yummy cookies. I dare you.

Mark Baratelli said...

I am aware what a Snickerdoodle is Mr/Ms/Mrs Anonymous. It is indeed a cookie. But it's a specific kind of cookie. And the ones he had in his shop looked like creme-colored dog shit.