Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Cookie Asshole

Note: Mark (me) is now in Tucson, Arizona, and wil be here December 30 thru January 4.

How to be Angry Like Jesus First United Methodist Church, Shreveport, Louisiana

I walk into a neat looking local coffee shop. I just wanted to see what it looked like, and then I thought about getting something to eat. I looked at the bakery case and didn't see cookies, which is what I wanted. So I asked the employee behind the bakery case. We'll call him "Asshole."
Me: Do you have cookies?

Asshole: (waves hands over bakery case then speaks) We have Snickerdoodles.

Me: Ok, thanks (turns to leave)

Asshole: (indignant) You walking around looking for cookies?

Me: (dumbfounded at question) Um, no I am just taking a walk. (leaves shop)
WTF? Who "walks around looking for cookies"? Was I 400 pounds riding a hover-round with chocolate cake crumbs on my bedazzled pink t-shirt? I will return to this coffee shop and ask for cookies every day this week.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

For further reference, Snickerdoodles are the best cookies in the world.

You love this stuff, don't you?

Go back and get those snickerdoodles, about 6 of them, and have your coffee and yummy cookies. I dare you.

Mark Baratelli said...

I am aware what a Snickerdoodle is Mr/Ms/Mrs Anonymous. It is indeed a cookie. But it's a specific kind of cookie. And the ones he had in his shop looked like creme-colored dog shit.