Saturday, December 6, 2008

Long Johns Silvers

Long johns: The only time "long johns" is heard in the South is right before "Silvers." Hey-oh. But since I will be-yonce in Alaska for a whole week starting Monday, and since I got a recommendation to do this from someone on the tour who resides in Chicago (which gets ass-bucket cold), I sought out the sport/wicking/expensive-as-hell long johns.

Buying long johns: Thursday in Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada, this super-hot blonde chick with big bazombas and fish-bowl eyeballs helped me out in a Canadian outdoor-sporting goods store. She led me around the store in search of the least expensive long johns they had. These things go for $60 for the shirt alone, people... I was not going to pay that.

She ended up finding a half-off, last-season shirt and leggings (not Lindsay Lohan-brand unfortunately). Go fishbowl-eyeballs hot chick! But even at half price, these flimsy garments were thirty damn dollars a piece. And no one will see them. Now I know what y'all lady-folk feel like when you buy those pricey bras. What's the point? Buy the cheap shit, right?

Wearing long johns: Last night in Vancouver (Canada) I tried them out. They work! And the best part is not only I will stay warm today in Canada and for the next week in (gulp) Alaska, but they take up a teensy area of my luggage. This is very big in my world right now.

Last night's show: I have NEVER had my own dressing room, on any job, ever. I got my own last night and will have it again tonight. It was like biting into an apple and finding hot fudge, then finding the wizard in the apple who worked overtime to make you that fudge waving a banner with your name on it and asking other wizards in other apples to make a similar banner.

A new little line popped out completely unplanned:
Mark: (To Jesus) And now I understand you're God

Back-up Singer: Hold up, what?

Mark: (in a whisper) Ok Shh let's just um... (Under my breath) It's my song.
Vancouver: A city to walk around! You know I am in heaven. Last night I walked for what I think was 2 hours. Didn't see anything special, just enjoyed the crowded sidewalks and cool weather at night time. I have the entire day to meander and explore.


Summer said...

Long johns.
Yes, I think I'll take a pic of that please.

Mark Baratelli said...

Oh man I didn't even THINK of that! Funny.