Wednesday, January 14, 2009

AUSTIN: I don't have my own room and THEY do

12/09: In L.A. pretending I could afford this hotel room

I was delighted with my room in Austin, Texas when I saw it had a full kitchen. Stews! Pot roasts! Crystal meth! Then my roommate told me several in the cast cast were getting their own rooms due to the hotel's running out of doubles. At first I wanted to throw a spear through the hotel lobby window and declare war. But I took a breath, centered my brain and threw a spear through the bus window.

At the theatre venue I spoke with our company manager who assured me those who got their own rooms were less talented, less educated and less well-read than I. (I knew this) I smiled, took the gum drop she placed in my hand and skipped out of her office, down the hall and into the theatre lobby bar where I drank 2-4-1 Hurricanes until my song in act two.

I should mention earlier today I got a ride to Whole Foods, about a mile from my hotel. If Neiman Marcus and an all-organic Wal Mart SuperCenter had a baby, it would look like this place. No group of humans need ever have access to that many brands of almond butter while herds of homeless men roam a vacant city park gazebo shaking hands and passing crack pipes a block away.

And I would like to end my post with this thought. I seriously cannot believe my job is my job. Tonight I did my song and I heard laughing. I am so in a bubble. I ride a bus, I am in cities for less than 24 hours, I throw spears through bus windows, and at the end of the day, my job means nothing if those people who paid for their tickets don't laugh.

I found a roach in my hotel room.


Summer said...

Now by roach do you mean, an insect or a small joint of pot? If it's the latter then smoke it and you won't worry so much about the calories in anything.

Mark Baratelli said...

No I don't do the pot in my hotel room. I do that on the bus, in my dressing room and in the theatre lobbies before shows. People say shit and I'm like "Arrest me!" They leave me be.