Monday, January 12, 2009

A monster with points

I was busting my way down the hallway to go outside for a long-ass walk when I saw the "Continental Breakfast" sign and turned in. Everything was still set up despite it being 9:30am and the end time being 9:30am.

There she was. Talking to the employee. So friendly. I walk near her to get to the hard boiled eggs and she asks me if I am with the tour. I (stupidly) say yes, figuring she is normal. Wrong. While getting my food she tells me she's staying at the hotel for free using her hotel points, she used to do theatre, her car broke down and she has a grown son... All I could think was "Get out so I can eat my raisin bran."

I spoke to her like I do homeless people: polite but scared shitless. I walk away from her to the coffee machine. She follows and talks more. I scurry about like a pinball from one counter to the next pretending to look for things on the counters. I am alone except for BSCB (Bat Shit Crazy Bitch) and the Asian employee who set up all food that attracted BSCB in the first place.

I sit down at my cereal and stare daggers at the tv, hoping she doesn't come over oh god here she comes. Since she knows I'm "with the tour," the title of which I never mentioned, she asks me how long "we" are staying at the hotel. I never stop looking at the tv while replying, "I'm going to watch tv thanks."

I love this. She gets that indignant tone all homeless people get when they can tell you're bothered by them bothering you, and she goes into a faux-apologetic rant about how she didn't mean to bother me and she walks backawards looking at the floor holding her bowl of cereal she got via POINTS. Homeless people are monsters.

She sits back down in her chair, throws a leg onto the chair next to her and begins stretching regimen. I stand up like an indignant homeless person and march downstairs to the lobby. I will complain.

I look at the man behind the counter and he has one eye looking one way and one eye looking the other. I know where he's looking by the direction of his nose. He takes my complaint (including that she is staying on points) and promises he will look (which way?) into it.

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