Monday, March 23, 2009

Bye Washington

I dislike the Mall and the Smithsonian in Washington DC. Its all funded by tax payers. They're not free museums. They should be open 24 hours then, not closed at 5:30pm. And stop busing in 3,000 high school-ers per museum who only care about talking to each other and bumping into me.

A whole lot of this all damn day.

Museum of Natural History: WOW!
The mammal room looked like the interior of a Coach purse shop: each stuffed animal was positioned on a light-wood shelf behind a glass wall or case. The department store lighting was diffused and crisp. Every few minutes the sound of a tropical rainstorm would thunder out from (good) ceiling-mounted speakers as the lights lowered and turned blue and tv screens played video of fast-moving rain clouds twirling by. It reminded me of the vegetable department at some grocery stores and a fashion show.

Something killed a something in a tree

Run, bitch.

The ocean room had the bones of a huge pre-whale swirling overhead and jars of dead squid lit behind glass cases. Eveything was blue. The top of the walls had projections of film showing fish swimming by. The whole room was moving it seemed.

A stuffed squid

I couldn't stand to be in the place much longer due to the husbands and wives who allowed their tiny baby/children to walk by my feet, causing me to almost crush them, time after time. And those goddamn high schoolers listening to their ipods and looking cooler than I ever will.

Botanical Gardens building
You MUST go here. Beautiful flowers and plants everywhere. The ceiling was glass each room had a different temp and moisture level, and everyone was (a) an adult and (b) LOVING everything. Except that little girl above behind the flower. But even she was enjoying the place. I swear, eevryone was on drugs. They were all walking slow, smiling and very polite


1 comment:

Summer said...

I don't know why, but for some reason this post made me laugh and laugh. Oh and I'm drunk.