Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Sarasota is not hot crap. I am.

Look how far we traveled! Good Christ! Shoot me in the face with razor blades!

Tuesday March 24, 2009: I got on the bus at 5am in Savannah, Georgia, stopped for lunch in Orlando (unbeknownst to me until 5 minutes before we stopped) and got off at 3pm in Sarasota, Florida. Long bus day. Good Christ.

The lunch stop in Orlando was at "Crossroads," a shopping center at Disney World you Orlandoeans will know all too well. I took walk instead of eating (I wasn't hungry after that horrid Paula Deen food) on Disney property all the way to Disney Village. My hair has grown out way too long, I wasn't shaved and I was wearing dirty clothes I woke up in. I looked a hot mess walking amongst the clean families. I fell down on purpose and scraped my knee (drawing blood) to get some attention. No one helped said boo. One mother called the cops on me and grasped her two daughters in fear behind the Trader Pins shop side entrance.

And then we ride on to Sarasota and the beautiful Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall. See pictures below...

The Van Wezel, Sarasota, Florida
The very purple Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall entrance

The Van Wezel
The very purple lobby with this woman staring at me. Hi!

The Van Wezel, Sarasota, Florida
This is what it felt like I was performing in front of. But thank Christ they even came.

The Show: I know you can't judge an audience by their reaction, and I am by no means making a judgement negative or positive on this Sarasota audience. (Um, they're paying my paycheck. Thanks guys! And in this economy, THANKS GUYS!) but I told someone after I walked offstage in my gold boots that it felt like performing in an empty house during a dress rehearsal. The audience was silent during my song. I know that doesn't mean they thought I was hot crap on a plate made of pubic hair, but still. Performing a supposedly funny number to silence is not a walk in the Sarasota park, especially when it's a SOLD OUT HOUSE of over 1,900. But still, I enjoyed myself knowing I thought I was talented. That was a joke. I am actually hot crap on a paper plate made of pubic hair.

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