Well today I was in the K-Marts returning 5 picture frames I ended up not needing for the Sunday night awards, and this severely aged woman was there returning a teeney-weeny umbrella because it was too heavy for her to use. God, getting old is going to suck. Then it hit me- I should buy a real, honest to God, gigantic umbrella that will keep me dry when it rains. And I did. This mother is HUGE. When I open it, it snaps open so hard it shakes my arm.