Thursday, January 22, 2015

Facebook, twitter and this blog

I use Facebook for business extensively. Let's get that out of the way. As the year ended, however, my personal use of the social network came into question. I felt myself going to it multiple times a day. Scrolling the news feed looking for something. I was really entertained with the notifications. If I had a lot, I felt good. But at some point towards the end of 2014, when I was reflecting on the new year about to hit me, I told myself that Facebook was a way to avoid, for me. Avoid stressful thoughts, avoid boredom, avoid anxiety, avoid working on stuff. It was a flat out addiction. I was using it for a purpose and that purpose was not entertainment.

I know  e, so I didn't tell myself "no more Facebook ever." I deleted the app from my iPad. That's it. I can check it from my laptop. 

What I experienced in doing this was huge. I found that I wouldn't go on Facebook only laptop even though it was readily available. For days. Then when I'd check it (scroll through the news feed and check my alerts) I'd see the most inane nonsense. What used to be a multiple-times-a-day read was now dumb crap.

I should also mention that during this brief period, I opened up my old personal blog and started using my personal twitter account more often. The thoughts I want to share belong in these two places. The blog is for me. The twitter account is for sharing. The blog, no one will read. It's not being written to make me look funny or smart. Neither is the twitter account. It's just me. I tweet repeatedly about moments of anxiety, about living with anxiety. That feels so important. To say I have it, to share moments of it, to get it out in the open so it's not a thing I'm ashamed of. That feels very good. 

And this blog is a long version of twitter. Just me rambling. Unedited. Not trying to market myself. 

I don't put pressure on myself to keep these two things up forever. They're working for now. For today.

1 comment:

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